Letters to my daughters – dream with one foot

Dear Daughters, Aunts, Friends, Mothers,

At any age it is often hard to know what to do with your life. You want to make the best of it given as you probably only have one.

No spares, no returns.

My mother wanted me to be a nurse so that when I produced children I could mend their broken knees.

If not a nurse, her next suggestion was a teacher because teachers know how to control children – or so she thought – and that would make me a better mother.

Well if not a teacher, her third option for me was, what is now called a P.A. (personal assistant) or even better E.A. (executive assistant) but back then was just plain old secretary. Her reasoning was that as a secretary I would make a better wife; I could look after my husbands business affairs, write his letters and pay his bills with the efficiency I learnt in secretarial school and with such efficiency there would still be time for all my other wifely chores.

But what do I want for you daughters of mine – I could spout all the airy fairy stuff about following your heart. Well I followed my heart like the hippy girl I was, smothered myself in acrylic paints and canvasses, spouted socialist lingo about money not having any meaning and traipsed off to all the marches against the nuclear bomb and all it did was keep me poor, happy but poor – and sometimes the poorness made me very sad.

I met boys with similar values and we had sex amongst the canvasses and were poor together. Then I managed to marry one of them, produced three kids, divorced, had lots of sex, remarried another kinder hippy (by this time heading towards middle age) and produced two more kids and got even poorer.

I thought money meant nothing. But its absolutely not true. If I regret anything, it is not taking the opportunity to make money when I was young. I should have followed my heart but perhaps also done a little teaching on the side. So whilst I want you to follow your hearts, make art and music and drama and love; I also want you to think about where the money is going to come from – as boring as that is.

It is important for a woman to have her own money!

And whilst money doesn’t buy happiness it does buy the things that make you happy, like freedom for holidays, art, movies, good food, travel and being able to pay the bills. So balance the money with the chasing the dream stuff.

The other important thing to remember is that you are never too old to start something new no matter what it is!!!!!

When I was eight I wanted more than anything to marry my sunday school teacher, he was sooo blond. But I thought I would have to wait until I was 16 and that seemed such an old age.

Then when I was 14 I wanted to marry our minister Alan Marr. I thought we were meant to be together for ever. I held on to this one for a good ten years but when I got to 22 the age I thought I should marry, he was 32 and I thought that was ancient – not  to mention he had married a very nice someone else in the mean time and I was pretty pee-ed off he hadn’t waited for me.

When I was twenty eight I wanted to study medicine but I thought I was too old as I wouldn’t finish my studies until I was the elderly age of 35.

At 40 I wanted to be a psychologist but as I wouldn’t finish the studies until I was 45 what was the point?

I thought I was too  old to write a blog but I am and now someone, or two or a few are reading it.

The point is that our perception of how old is old changes as we get older.

And the real point is that no matter what your age it is only the age of your body. It is not the age of you!

So go out there and conquer and let nothing stop you!

I’ve got a job now but I am also going to chase that painting career I wanted back when I was 16 and my mother said “Don’t you dare start dressing like one of those artist people!!!” which is exactly how I’ve always dressed.

2 thoughts on “Letters to my daughters – dream with one foot

    1. Thank you so much. I have been to Texas – I loved it! I went to Houston and I found the people there to be the warmest, friendliest people I met in the USA. Again thank you very much for commenting on my blog.

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