Dear Sons and Daughters – some crazy shit about how to stay cool.

Dear Sons and Daughters

The generation gap hit me today only it wasn’t a gap – it was a black hole in the space and time continuum.

I always thought I was pretty cool as far as my kids went. You know – a mother they didn’t have to be embarrassed by.

I like cool music like the laidback crooning of Led Zeppelin, the even more laid back Eric Clapton, the grinding sorrow of Gary Moore, I like Jet, Cat Empire and Mumford and Sons.

I didn’t think it was possible for my taste in music to be uncool because surely my generation took music to its edge. I’m mean my music sure pissed off my parents who declared it “sinful”, “evil” and all the other things you want parents to think belongs to your music as they asked why did I have to listen to Rod Stewart when there was that nice Rolf Harris and his wobble board.

But my coolness as a mother got a chink in it when along came Rap and Hip Hop – disgusting mind numbing stuff and the gulf opened.

Then today my son sent me a text that I couldn’t decipher and before I even knew what had hit me I was pulled into the cavernous black hole of eternal darkness where I would float for eternity  – we call it a generational gap.

He texted, “Crazy Shit Man but Whacked Hey”

And I didn’t have a clue what this means.

The language is not dissimilar to the 70’s so I would have understood – “Crazy shit man really cool” (meaning it’s really good) or “Crazy shit man really grossed me out” (meaning it’s really bad) or just “Some crazy shit man” (meaning anything).

But he meant none of this.

So I turned to my other kids who are all older. They suggested he meant,

“I think I lost my brain cells due to being hit by a cricket bat” or “I hit my head against a plate glass window and got a decent whack” or “the toilet at work is blocked.”

But none of the suggestions seemed right the right answer to the question I’d asked him which was, ‘So how was your first shift at work?’

And so being a supportive mother I teased them for growing older and showing the gap between them and their younger sibling.

The younger sibling finally translated for me and what he meant was:

“It literally rains McDonalds. I’m not even kidding. Bags of McDonalds drop down from the sky.”

Of course

I knew that’s what he meant. I’m cool still.

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